[ _ ] - You have to state to everyone why you're thankful this year, even though you hate your job, your love life is nonexistant and the neighborhood cats are ruining the rims on your car by peeing on it every night and yet it's illegal to poison the little rat bastards.
[ _ ] - The white meat is dry and the dark meat smells like it's been sitting out on the countertop for a week.
[ _ ] - The neighbor's homemade tamales are long gone but there's plenty of Jello with canned pineapple chunks suspended in it.
[ _ ] - The dregs of your relatives are sitting on the sofa, monopolizing the good tv to watch the 1-8 Miami Skidmarks take on the 3-7 Baltimore Stench. In the bedroom, various flotsam and jetsam are huddled around the other TV watching The Oprah Winfrey Network.
[ _ ] - Your father and your uncle Hank are in hour #2 of discussing their respective diabetes management.
[ _ ] - The dog is locked outside, whining at the back door, because your grandmother's best friend, who could have been the body double for Anne Ramsey in Throw Momma From the Train, is allergic to pet hair.
[ _ ] - Someone brought a case of Budweiser that's still untouched, but all the good beer you had hidden away was drunk 3 hours ago.
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