On an adult forum that I read, every so often someone will start a thread about people (usually the poster's wife or girlfriend) hating porn. It boils down to being intimidated by it. "I can't compete with that."Speaking on behalf of most guys, "you don't have to." We're not expecting you to. I know you couldn't get into a reverse piledriver postion without dislocating your shoulder. I know your ass wasn't that small and tight even when you were 18. I know you don't like to swallow and your jaw gets tired.
Porn is fantasy. It's an add-on. It's us playing the x-rated section of Walter Mitty that The New Yorker wouldn't print.
You know what else is fantasy? War movies. If you see my eyes glaze over and a little bit of drool appears from the side of my mouth when I'm watching Jim Brown dropping granades down the air vents in THE DIRTY DOZEN, that doesn't mean that I really, truly want to do that in real life. In real life, I know I'll be one of the dozen who got my ass shot off first thing. In real life I wouldn't have been one of the dozen, because I wouldn't have been in that army prison. I'd have been one of Robert Ryan's dickhead lackies.
I love MAD MEN. I want to be Don Draper. Hell, I'd settle for being Roger Sterling. You know who I really am? I'm Harry, the shlub who buys time on tv shows.
The same goes for the books that I read. If I'm reading FAREWELL MY LOVELY, sure I want to be Philip Marlowe. I also know that I wouldn't last 10 seconds in Philip Marlowe's world. A goon would show up at my door and warn me off a case. I'd say something flip and I'd wake up in the hospital. You know what I'd do? I'd drop the case.
Porn is fantasy. Yeah, in my head I'm screwing women who are younger, firmer, bigger breasted and sexually more adventurous than anyone I'm going to ever meet in real life. So what? I have a fantasy that I'm the President of the United States. I have another one that I run Microsoft and I fire everyone responsible for Windows Vista. I've got another one where I'm Brad Pitt.
I don't really want to be Brad Pitt. Not even when he was banging Jennifer Aniston.
Women fantasize. If they don't, they're either lying or they're missing out on the best part of the waking day. Women fantasize about all kinds of weird shit. Does that really mean that they want those fantasies to come true? No. In fantasy you can keep all the good stuff and exclude all the bad stuff. Fantasizing having sex with your best friend's spouse? Nobody gets pregnant in fantasies. Nobody gets caught. Nobody gets the clap. No awkward conversation. No guilt. All the good stuff and none of the bad.
Women: if you really want to get back at a guy, you can turn the tables because guys are easily intimidated too. Get a video called AMAZING INSERTIONS or something like it, and believe me there are many to choose from. If you want to see a guy go pale, watch him watching a girl straddle an orange traffic cone. You know what's going on in his head? There isn't any way I can follow that. She wouldn't feel a thing.
There are plenty of things in the world to fret about. Pornstars shouldn't be one of them.
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