Saturday, February 19, 2011

Keeping Up Appearances

My last wine glass broke. It was on the floor beside my recliner and the DVD remote fell on it. It had been a gift so I got my money out of it.

I don't buy expensive stemware, and I don't buy pricey wine to put in it. That way when something happens it's not a tragedy. If there were a shattered Waterford glass in my trash can, I'd be inconsolable.

The key word above, however, was last. I'm out, and now I'm stuck with replacing it.

Why? Last night I poured a glass of wine into a beer glass (I have plenty of those), and kept telling myself, glass is glass. The only real difference is the shape.

So why does it feel like I'm one step away from drinking straight from the bottle? Pirates do it and they look cool. But then, so do drunken mercinary soldiers, just before they gang rape the heroine (or are killed just before, depending on the movie).

In real life, vagrants and dumbass college students drink straight from the bottle. (Don't believe me on the latter? Do a Google image search for drinking out of a paper bag.)

I just came from a website which sells stemware and has a store nearby. They feature a "stemless" glass that's just the bowl. It's like a rounded low-ball glass you'd serve Scotch 'n water in.

Of course I have none of those, but I've got a coffee mug that's about that shape. But the coffee mug is ceramic. Actually it's porcelain, which has been fired at high temp and it's a type of glass.

Except that this is opaque, cobalt blue, and has a design drawn on it in gold. Wine wouldn't taste right in that. It's for coffee.

As much as I keep telling myself that all of this is absurd, that wine is just another beverage (especially the $5/bottle plonk that I buy), and that glass is glass, and that I drink alone and there's no one to impress so what difference does it make? makes a difference.

Tomorrow I may go out and get a proper glass. Tonight, I'm going to put an eye-patch on and my old match-lock pistol in the waist of my pants, and drink pirate style. Arrrr.

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